One of the Bruins Warm Up Songs, Naturally I Love It.
(Listen to it while reading, you might feel a strange sensation in your pants)
Hello Friends, Foes and other assorted gentle men and women.
This post is designed to bring you the news (always good, never bad) that surrounds your favourite beer league squad. The Event Company Tents.
A new season brings new expectations, high hopes and another reason to shower with men and smell like utter ass. Some new faces now populate the #TentHockey bench and locker room and I now want you to welcome them into your family, give them your beer and never say a bad word about them ever again or you will pay..... so with that being said, INTRODUCINNGGGGGGG
Tent Hockey Defensemen #9 Paul RUUSSSSOOOOOO.
Nickname: Erection
Coming off a star studded career as a Gloucester Fisherman and Bryant Bulldog, Erection has finally come back down to earth and plays with his fellow beer league friends. Erection is a SOLID SOLID SOLID player. A fast, offensive minded defenseman who will jump the rush with no hesitation. He's the ying to my yang really, as I am the defensively minded stalwart type. Even though he is as Cute as a button, Erection wears a full mask to protect his face not only from sticks and pucks, but from the very dashing fanbase we have grown accustomed to seeing in the stands. "That Number Nine, he sure will tickle your fancy."
Next Up (I dont know his number) Michael RUUSSSOOOOOO.
(Wait, are you guys brothers? I Got you guys good)
Speed and Stick-handling. Pretty much all there is to say really. Quiet guy but we know that his determination will never waver. Gets to the rink very early. His mind is clear of any inhibitors. Just wants to win and win bad. You can catch Michael cruising the streets of Gloucester in his white land yacht just soaking up the life of a #Tent. (What that life is, however, has yet to be determined.)
News and Notes:
- Gargoyle (Slave Name: Andrew Fulford) and Mikes Place need to work out an endorsement deal. Proud to have Mike's delicious cuisine on the bench with us. Always a special in-game treat.
- Norman Michael Macfarland may infact be the leagues most hated player. Nobody likes him, I swear. He may even have been referenced as "That Punk #6" once or twice.
- Folks times a tickin' for your last chance to see The Great Cam Scola play at the tank before he moves to Oklahoma in search of a higher paying contract. (Interesting note: All Tent Hockey players are STILL waiting for that elusive game check to hit the bank. Ownership must be refinancing or something.)
- The Showers at the Tank are FINALLY, and consistently hot. Give me one more reason to stay in the shower longer and I will take it.
- I dont have any goals, a few assists but still, what the fuck.
- Were 3-0 by the way. Talk to us in the playoffs, we kind of have a problem (Premature something or other I think its called) in that department.
Come support our team. Emily Avila does.
Bye.
