And Boom Goes The Dynamite

 Jon Cooney's Worst Nightmare

The Past 3 weeks have been outrageous, from so many different standpoints that I haven't had the time to update everyone on life as we know it. But I will do my best to corral all the experiences that have made headlines this side of the bridge and beyond.

The Boston Bruins: 11-0-1 in their last 12. No biggy. Since Todd and Company attended the Nov. 1 contest vs. Ottawa (32 ounce High Life Drafts sure do taste good, even on a Tuesday), the Bruins have not lost a single game in regulation. 28 mother fucking days of at least garnering a point in a game. My Chris Kelly man crush is palpable. Timmy and Tuukka are stellar, per usual. The Kid, Bergy and Marchand have decided that they have no problem being one of the Best lines in the league. And yeah, the Stanley Cup DVD is just as good the 20th time as it was the 1st time. Number One in The Hood G.

Productive Alcoholism: My goodness. Growler full of the IPA on a Monday? Sure. Growler Full of IPA while writing a 1200 word paper? Why not? (Just for the record I got a 93 on that bitch, -5 for being a day late so we will call it an 88). Beers at lunch, beers at dinner, beers at hockey. Ever since that disastrous turn of events Friday of Fiesta (Damn you Captain Morgans) its been a beer drinkers wet dream at 100 East Main Street. Also, Thanksgiving Weekend should be sponsored by a Beer Company. Never in my life have I seen so much Alcohol consumed in a 5 day period.

Browns Football League: Just ask Jonathan Tyler Cooney all about it. I think he almost became a permanent fixture on the goal line during the championship game. But to his credit (after a couple minutes to make sure his organs were still intact) he stayed in the game and won a championship. Those are overrated anyways.

Rockport Mortgage Hockey: After Relying on opposing teams players to help us win 2 games, we finally got our first win as a group. 6-1 over the Elks. Your Favorite player sacraficed his ankle for this victory. Although he rarely shows up on the score sheet, Todd put on a passing clinic all night long. 75 foot breakaway pass? Easy. Too bad Scola has the worst hands on the team and he cant corral a gem. UPDATE: Anyone who shows up to the next RMC contest will earn FREE, thats right, FREE tickets for the remaining 11 games on the schedule. Because after all, its all about the fans. Did I mention how good I am?


You're welcome, Shannon.

Guess Who Is Going to Gillette This Weekend?

Would you want to tailgate next to these characters?

Yep thats right. My family and I will be the Enemy at the Razor on Sunday as the NFC East Leading New York Football Giants will take on The AFC East Leading New England Patriots. Pretty big game whether you like it or not. Should the Pat's Defense beware of Eli-te? Yup. Should the Giants Defense beware of Gisele's Husband? Yup. Is it any coincidence that we are sitting in the handicapped seats? Maybe, Maybe not. Let's Go Big Blue!!!!!!!!

FACT: Verizon is better than Sprint

HAPPY TUESDAY NEW ENGLAND!

Why thank you DA, a happy Tuesday night it was. The Boston Bruins stop a three game skid with a 5-3 victory @ TD Garden. Do you think it was any coincidence that Todd & Co. were in attendance? No fucking way. Even though the Bruins were the winners on this fine Tuesday in November, they still played sloppy for a substantial part of the game. "But they scored 5 goals Todd, how could you say they didnt play well?" I will let you ask that question to the people who scream SHOOT on the power play when there is 3 guys blocking the pucks path to the net. Fucking pink hats (cough cough Tomaino and Paul sitting 5 rows from the ice) have no right to open their mouths at a game. The Bruins still have some substantial flaws that need to be rectified if the playoffs are to be on the schedule.

Time out. Short story. Coondogg decided to call in to "The D.A. Show" on 98.5 on the ride home and, after waiting for 10 minutes to get on the air, he left D.A. with nothing to listen to but a garbled transmission. Most non-triumphant. Leave it to Todd to save the day. In the wake of Coon's unfortunate dropped call on his Binky powered by Sprint, I decided that it was a good time to save the day and call up D.A. myself to express the points that Coon, Scola, Ticon and I agreed on. Lets just say, I killed it. Giving clear, confident and concise points to make the common fan rethink the state of the Bruins after their 4th win in 11 games. Sure it was a good win, but the Bruins need to battle harder and take more shots rather than try to finesse their way to victory. Long story short, My shitty ass cracked verizon keypad phone schooled D.A. and the Sports Hub nation. A Binky couldn't handle the job.

Pink Hats stay away please. Get to the game on time. Stay in your seat. Bitch and moan when there is actually something to bitch and moan about. Stay till the end of the game. Be Knowledgeable or stay home.

Todd: "See the thing is....the thing about it is that the Bruins are still wasting their time trying to make the finesse play and be cute with the puck. Shoot the Puck on net! You will get more Chances, you'll bury more biscuits, and you will win more games....Love ya D.A."

D.A.: "Be good Bri."

Radio Gold.