RMC Updayyyyyyttttteeee

In front of a raucous crowd of 5, maybe six, Industrial league relatives and or girlfriends, RMC pulls out their first win of the season over the new CEL Gulls 5-2. Evening their record to 1-1.

Pregame Notes: 

-Todd was extra excited for this game due to his purchase of a new hockey stick. No longer must his talent be restrained by the Wooden Montreal gem.

- Player-Coach Norm MacFarland was a late scratch from the line up with a bum shoulder at the hands of Mikey-O. Repent Mr. Oliver, Repent.

- Cameron Joseph Scola, after resisting organizational demands, and with a contribution from Anheuser-Busch, finally honored his contractual obligation of being the equipment/hydration engineer, with vigor. Bout Time.  **** Managerial note - If Mr. Scola is able to prove that high and low tide can occur at the same time in the City of Gloucester, he can opt out of his obligations.****

Game Details

- Richard "Old Reliable" Melanson opened the games scoring with a "right place at the right time" goal in front of the net. Dick finished with 2 goals and other assorted plays.

- A2Sou contributed on the offensive score sheet with a fantastic 1 timer from somebody feathering a pass into the slot. Big Time Pick up.

- Salah was Salah. After an IMPRESSIVE performance at Player-coach Norm MacFarland's new Spruce Road residence the previous night, TJS was Salahbrating all over the entire arena. Have fun driving back to Newton.

- Brett Biondo chalked up a goal and his wiener may have been compromised by an opponent. Karma, hopefully the opponent beleives in it.

- Two out of three Active RMC defensemen were sporting fantastic Mustaches. Definite game changers.

Your Real Purpose for reading. Todd's performance:

After eating an assortment (special word for volume) of breakfast meats and mentally preparing for tonights contest at Cooney's abode, Todd played a respectable game. Nothing flashy. Just business. Shaking off an early quad injury, Todd was able to play a servicable defensive game. A few slappers found their way near the net with the new lumber. A number of 1 on 1 rushes were thwarted by the MO Curtain. A defensive players wet dream really. Reading the fowards mind before he even made it up. Except for that one time he sniped, but we don't pay mind to minor details. Todd played the body tonight and possibly just maybe took it too far. Unbeknownst, a 55 year old opponent went into the corner and by mistake Todds shoulder inadvertantly struck this man and completely by accident he fell to the ice with out Todd intending for it to happen because it was by accident. Sorry my friend. But again, Nothing special tonight, Just Business.


The End.

NHL TURNING POINT: We're A Bunch of Ass Holes

Tuesday, October 9th 2012. The day finally came. The day where Todd finally got pushed over his Lockout edge. Even though the first 2 weeks of the Regular Season has been cancelled, the ex-starting date of said regular season has not come and gone yet. Todd personally thought he would have lasted longer before he would write this blog, but a certain event occurred today that left Todd's patience exhausted. A multitude of factors causing disarray.. So, even though Todd is returning to the dark place, he must get a few things off his chest.

NHL Superstars Zdeno Chara and Alexander Ovechkin were televised on ESPN2 today. There are several things that stuck out to Todd within the first 45 seconds of the telecast that ultimately made him turn it off before doing something he would possibly regret. In no particular order, here they are.

First things first. Fuck ESPN. Seriously, FUCK ESPN. I love Steve Levy and Barry Melrose just as much as the next guy, but they made an absolute mockery of the fact that ESPN is flipping a giant bird to the NHL. A sporting network that is flaunting that the NHL is having a lockout by virtue of broadcasting games in a rival league. This was a giant dick punch. Just in the right spot where it made Todd feel like puking. While the uninformed may not have understood the rhetoric being spewed by Levy and Melrose (Credit Barry for saying it is immoral for union members to play in the KHL, SEL etc while their brethren are home paying for ice time), Todd heard their audio porn clear as day. They would not stop talking about the negative effects of the league having a lockout while incessantly pointing out how great it is that hockey is being played on ESPN. Their broadcast was complete garbage, it consisted of terrible play calling coupled with awful lockout rhetoric. Puke City, Bitch.

Shame on the NHL for allowing this. How can a league allow a network who denounces them (although they don't actually say it, actions speak louder than words) broadcast games from a rival league on their home turf with players who are under contract in their league? By not having a Fucking Lockout. Not a good look owners, not a good look at all. Money aint that tight to allow this crap. The only saving grace was that the quality of the KHL is 1/3 of what the NHL is. That much was apparent.

Todds Penis was softer than pudding when he saw Zdeno Chara in a Prague uniform. If Z is not donning any Uni other than the Black and Gold, we know there is a problem. Not to mention that these guys run the risk of getting hurt thus prohibiting them from playing in the NHL when the lockout is lifted. Thank god the ice is bigger or else Todd would be very, very worried. Half of our franchise players are risking their health in subpar leagues overseas. FUCK THAT.

Am I stupid (don't answer that) or is collectively bargaining about anything other than core economic issues a GIGANTIC waste of time? Instead, the douche bag brigade decides to split hairs over the definition of HRR, before they decide on how to split it. Last week I read somewhere that the two sides were going to have a meeting about when their next collective bargaining meeting would take place. Meetings about Meetings. Now we are just regressing.

....

They can win me back, however. But time is precious. This is my offer Commissioner Gary Bettman (representative of the owners, who run the show). If you don't accept this proposal by Thanksgiving I'm resolved to withdraw it and some of the concessions I am making will be off the table for good. Here are the terms. I have the capacity to forgive you. Completely. I'm not mad at you, I'm disappointed. I am disappointed that your plans for the success of the league don't involve working in good faith with, lest you forget, your Business Partners. Yes, PARTNERS. If you put your nearsighted greed behind you, and see for the actual long term, you will see that a trustworthy, co-dependent partnership that is based on integrity, will be a more lucrative option. Neither side can be completely satisfied, thus concessions are to be made, by both parties. Just return to Normal Business Operation by Thanksgiving, I will be at your door, pockets flush, holding several Andrew Jacksons with your name on them, without hesitation. As long as I am able to watch HBO 24/7 Leafs-Redwings in its entirety leading up to the Winter Classic, I'm all yours. Just fucking get it DONE.


P.S. The NBA still sucks.

The Age of the Spoiled Little Brat

 

"Spoiled Brat"

Let me start by saying 1 thing. Being a 90's kid was/is the biggest blessing in disguise for Todd. That perfect stage between technological advances and the stone age. Days when playing street hockey in the driveway was the #1 afternoon activity on the docket and you were extremely lucky to get to play your original Nintendo if you got the games to work after blowing in them for 20 minutes. The days when you got your first cell phone at 16 years old and the only function on the damn thing was to make a phone call. Long story short, for better or for worse, technology has changed every aspect of our lives. Need proof, look no further than Todd's Friday afternoon adventure to Pure Hockey.

Sitting down waiting for an employee to grab me a pair of skates that I wanted, I couldn't help but overhear this little piece of shit, who was all of 8 years old, complaining about what type of skate he was going to get. He didnt want the 400 dollar Reebok skates, or the 350 dollar CCM pair. He wanted the 500 dollar Bauer's because they were the coolest pair of skates in the establishment. Kid was telling his mother that she "doesn't know what she is talking about" when it comes to equipment. He didn't like his brand new skates he got last year so now hes getting another brand new pair and he says something like that? What fucking balls on this kid.

In the rear of the store, another kid was throwing a tantrum because his dad told him he couldn't have a brand new $150 Easton composite stick because he already had 2 sticks at home. Hey ass hole, try using the Montreal log that is the only stick I own. Serious Gonads.

So now Todd is thinking to himself....."Was I that much of a picklesmoocher when I was 8 years old?" The answer is that I dont know. As a kid its all about me me me. When you grow older you learn a few things. Like when your parents are shelling out 1500 dollars for brand new hockey equipment, you better fucking kiss their ass until your lips are chapped. No back talk. Straight respect.

Wait until these kid are in Todd's situation (+1 for becoming a state champ, -1 for being on the 8 year college plan), dead broke trying to finagle a way to get a half decent skate for under 250 dollars. Not even allowing myself to look at the new stick aisle because that is at least 2 paychecks away. He would have a heart attack knowing that some kid is going to have a nicer stick and cooler skates because Mom and Dad refinanced their home so he could get new equipment and play on a select team in the summer. (note: anyone can play select because "if you give them a check, you are a select"). Wait until he hasn't had new skates in 7 years and he can barely skate because his rivets are so rusty they are snapping every shift. Seriously, if I was ever like that as a kid I'm going to march right down to St. Peters Church and say 10 Hail Mary's, four Acts of Contrition, and six Our Father's because it must be HELL for those parents to deal with those kids.

Tim Thomas Makes Todd Feel Like Writing Again

Tim Thomas Leaves Bruins to Pursue Life Beyond Hockey

Tuche, Tim. Tuche.

Some people love controversy and have a knack for stealing the spotlight from those who deserve it more. Tim Thomas has no problem with doing such things. In the season after Timmy captivated millions of hockey fans across North America and throughout the World, he used his celebrity status (which was only in its infancy) to express his controversial opinions which, quite frankly, the majority of hockey fans could have went without. It's OK Tim, we gave you a mulligan. But in arrogant fashion (DON'T TREAD ON ME!) he decided to pick the one year anniversary of his crowning achievement to steal the spotlight again. Choosing to leave the Bruins organization with hopes of pursuing a personal life with his family. The New Jersey Devils and the Los Angeles Kings deserve to share the spotlight of the Hockey World with no-one. They have worked harder than they ever have before to have the right to be Stanley Cup Champions, something Tim Thomas knows all too well after his magical run in 2011.

This isn't to say that I admonish the reasons given for taking a year off. A man that has been through the professional sports wringer at 38 years old, has earned the right to want to spend time with family and friends. There is no doubt that the man must feel tired and worn out, just as we saw Niklas Lidstrom express with his farewell address. Men that have given so much to this sport to achieve that status that they own. We are in no position to question their motives for what it is that they desire.

Having said that, there is one difference between these two stars, Style. Over the past few seasons we have seen Tim Thomas succeed on the ice with his unorthodox style. He rewrote the book on doing whatever it takes to save a puck from crossing the goal line. But his unorthodox style has failed him in the PR department. Choosing to shed light on the true makeup of his character he has forced many, who once embraced him without hesitation, to re-evaluate their personal opinions of him, which he should be able to respect based upon his comments while on his rather large soap box. Niklas Lidstrom gracefully left the game he loved respectfully, leaving a positive mark on this game. Tim Thomas took his ball and went home (which is now Colorado, apparently).  Fans and the Bruins have responded with little despair over his departure except for the 5 million dollar limitation he has gifted the Bruins on their salary cap. Oh Well, Tuukka needed to get more of the workload anyways, I guess he can have all of it.

Thank you Tim for all the success that you have given to the Boston Bruins, it was an honor to watch you win a championship for this City and your loyal, knowledgeable fan base (pink hats excluded). However, you will do whatever it is that you want to do. You have made that abundantly clear. I hope you find exactly what you are looking for. Next time try to relay that message with a little more respect for those that it affects, if that isn't to much to ask of you.

TODD COULDN'T HIT WATER IF HE FELL OUT OF A BOAT

What. The. Fuck. Rarely, there are times in Todd's life that he actually makes mistakes. I know what your thinking, how could a man that does no wrong actually fuck up so bad that he needs to trash himself on his own blog? Crazier things have happened, I think. Let me set the scene for you boys and girls....

In a fast paced, semi physical industrial league matchup between the Mugs and RMC, Todd decieded for some odd reason that it would be a good idea to get involved in the offensive zone play. Little did Todd know that he was setting himself up for failure and embarresment. Initiating a beautiful give and go with Brett Biondo, Todd b-lined it for the front of the net. With the puck on his stick and a WIDE FUCKING OPEN net, Todd had a chance for immortality and at least get his team back in the game. However, Todd missed the net completely. So bad, in fact that he flipped the puck completely out of the rink. What an asshole eh? The sad part about this whole fiasco is that Todd actually played a great game minus that one BONEHEAD mistake (having a puck go off my skate into our own net was not my fault, just unfortunate).

Maybe next time I will actually hit the net and not cost my team 2 goals. But for now FUCK YOU TODD seems very appropriate. Todd is optioning himself to pick up hockey on Wednesday night to try and atone for his gigantic fuck up.

Other than that it is still my world and your all just living in it.

P.S. Shannon McCarthy...your season ticket privelidges have been revoked.

Deja Blue....Another Giant Victory

I SERIOUSLY NEED NEW PANTS

The New York Football Giants defeated the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl. No it was not a fluke this time.Yes it was a great game. But I really dont give a shit what happened throughout the game that you havent already heard from all the experts. So, Im going to get up on my soap box and preach and I dont give a shit who reads it.

First off Im going to recognize myself for having the BALLS to sit amongst 20 Patriots fans as the only supporter of the now 4 Time, count 'em 4, Superbowl Champion New York Football Giants. And when it came right down to it, I was not everyones favorite person in the building. But there is one thing about Giants Fans, that separates them from all other NFL fans, we are pretty damn respectable. I was not supporting the home team and I kept the celebration of Giants successes during the game humble and to a minimum. Thats the way it should be. But when I defended my team that just WON THE SUPER BOWL, I wasnt treated with the same respect. I left you all in your misery not to provoke anyone. So kudos to me.

HOWEVER, it is interesting to note the cocky nature of some, not all, but some supporters of the New England Patriots, and how far back they will go to justify their argument about how awesome the Patsies are. News Flash Folks, what you did in 2001, 2003, and 2004 has very limited bearing on what your going to do in 2011/2012 and beyond. That argument is over, you are just another team who didnt win the championship.  Just like the Giants have been in all but 4 seasons. Your team has had such a drastic makeover that the only holdovers from The Dynasty are your quarterback, wide receiver, nosetackle and a few linemen. Yes your franchise's history includes some success. But you know what else it holds? Some dismal seasons too. You might as well accept it now folks, some time in the future, near or far, your untouchable Pats will be a cellar dwellar just like every other franchise has been. Just remember, history doesnt just remember 3 super bowls each won by three points. It also remembers the 4 super bowls that you didnt win. So please spare us the bull shit.

I have one stat. In 2007 and 2011, the Patriots were 1-3 vs. the Giants and 32-2 vs the rest of the league.

Plain and Simple. BIG BLUE owns your ass.

Super Bowl 46 Giants vs. Patriots Part Deaux

 

I NEED NEW SHORTS

Well, isn't this refreshing. The New York Football Giants will face the New England Patriots for the right to be Super Bowl XLVI Champions. Revenge Game, Armageddon blah blah blah. The way I see it, this game is a testament of will and desire. There are way to many story lines to cover but there are only a few that really matter.

 Revenge Game: Maybe for the insufferable Patriots fan it is...but something tells me that Tom Brady and Bill Belicheck will not be focusing on retribution for February 3, 2008 as I believe that they aren't naive enough to think that dwelling on that loss will ultimately help them prepare for this game. However, the New York Giants can use that game as motivation to know that ANYTHING can happen. Play your game the best that you can play, and the rest will take care of itself.

Eli-te? Whether you believe that or not, which most of you dont, Eli is a top tier QB. It is really funny that the best that Patriots fans can come up with as an insult is that he is ugly. Hello 3rd grade. Again, say what you will but the facts do not lie.. Eli Manning is a PROVEN playoff quarterback.  Just look at the stat line from this post season. You cant deny that Eli Manning is capable of playing the position at the HIGHEST level. 

TB12: As a fair and balanced (fuck you fox news) fan of sport, I would be remissed if I did not give credit where credit is due. Tom Brady scares me. Guy is one of the best Quarterbacks to play the game. We all know this.  He is the unquestioned leader of that team. But I will say this, this game revolves around the play of Tom Brady. 

Key Match ups

 

1. Of course, the Giants Prolific defensive line versus the Patriots Offensive line. This has been proven in the past. Get pressure on Tom, Tom is not as effective. Quick passes are going to help the Patriots out immensely versus the pass rush. If the Giants Linebacking core and secondary can stay with these receivers the Giants will have some success on the defensive side of the ball. 

2. Eli Manning vs. The Patriots defense (especially on 3rd down). Eli is dynamite on third down this postseason just straight pulling plays out of his ass. It is no secret that the Patriots struggled in that category against Joe Flacco. If the Patriots can get off the field against the best offense they have seen since week 9 (also the Giants) they will have a great advantage with Tom waiting on the sideline. The Giants, however, were down two key offensive starters in their week 9 win in Hakeem Nicks and Ahmad Bradshaw.

In Closing....

Ulitimately, I dont know what to think. The NFL playoffs are so unpredictable that making predictions is for the Birds. But I will say one thing....The Giants have played VASTLY superior opponents all season long, struggled as they did, they are playing their best football when it counts. The Patriots, however, played cream puff after cream puff but executed their game and have won all those games. Take it for what its worth, may not be worth anything to you, but I think there is something to be said for being battle tested all the way through the season. 

GO BIG BLUE

The Boston Bruins Were Not On My Radar Today

I wonder if they will keep playing this commercial?

Sunday Funday for Todd? Bet your bottom dollar it was. After spending my saturday night in Joey's Mothers van in the Gillette Stadium parking lot (worth the c-note), I enjoyed Divisional Sunday Football and got to play RMC puck. The Life? Maybe...Awesome? Definately.

The New York Football Giants.

Fuck everyone. Fuck the haters (who just welcomed Roger Goodell and Bill Levy after todays game) who say the Giants needed to prove something. Cough, Cough, Sawyer. The people who said Eli was not Eli-te. FUCK EVERYONE. Minus Cooney because if Tom Coughlin was at The Loft on Saturday he would have been on his knees faster than you could say February, 3rd 2008. But anyways..thank you Green Bay for underestimating Big Blue and getting your ass picked apart by Eli. The vaunted, prolific Packers offense was stopped all night minus the two biggest BONEHEAD calls in the history of the NFL. Great Game G-Men.

Seriously though, Eli Manning is an elite quarterback. I do not give a fuck what you say. Eli Manning performs at an Elite level on the road in the playoffs (tied for most road playoff wins in NFL history) which, by the way, he leads Drew Brees 4-0 in road playoff wins. He owns the most 4th quarter touchdowns in a single season. Super Bowl MVP. Did you see him on third down tonight? DID YOU SEE HIM? Case closed.

Great NFC Championship matchup next sunday. Sorry RMC, I might not make next weeks game. Speaking of RMC, lost a heartbreaker tonight. 3-2 in overtime. But none of that should matter. Playing inspired hockey after Big Blue's impressive victory, Todd scored his first, and probably last, goal of the season. Paying Customers got their moneys worth with that tally alone. For some odd reason Todd decided to crash to the net and he got rewarded. Also he had some flashy plays at the blueline to keep the puck in the zone. Shame that we lost but my head is held high.

The Flames Are A Bunch Of Burnouts

 

Bruins Devastate Flames 9-0

9 is a crooked number if I have ever seen one. Is this a dream? Think back to May of 2010, what were your feelings towards the Bruins? The Biggest Love/Hate relationship of your life. Fact. Almost every player lacked the testicular fortitude needed to win when it counted. But they won the Stanley Cup and have actually improved their overall team game this year. Now I'm not going to get into some sob story about how we love the Bruins (although that is possible upon request) so these ABSURD stats will have to hold you over.

The Boston Bruins as a unit are +69 in goal differential. What? To put that in perspective, the Bruins were +51 (best in the east) in 2010/2011. Gnarly dude.

The Boston Bruins have 9 different players with 20 or more points....more shocking however, they lead the league in offense without a top-30 scorer. My head hurts.

Both goaltenders have sub-2.00 GAA and are 1-2 in the league with astronomical save percentages (.949 TR .940 TT). Gimme a break.

Since their dreadful 3-7 start, the B's have ammassed a 23-3-1 record. Highest win percentage in the league while holding mass quantities of games in hand on most teams.

The Seguin Bergeron Marchand line has an even 100 points through 37 games. Top 3 line in the entire NHL. good two way center with solid, talented young guys at wing. Cant ask for a better combo. 

Good. Great. Grand. Awesome. Peachy-keane. Hunky-Dorey. Unfortunately for The Bruins, they have set the Bar really, really high for themselves..basically they need to win the Cup for this season not to be deamed a failure. While the gaudy regular season numbers as special and we are all enjoying it, we still need to play well in May and June. Heres to continued success and good health.

P.S. Vancouver is in town on Saturday. It's go time.