Tent Hockey Update

The Tents are mother fucking BACK BABY! (Early side note: Momma, meaning Emily, doesn't like the amount of profanity I have been slinging on the home front so I'm bout to sling it here because that little fuck face cant read) I love you Owen, Dad didn't mean that.

Off season training regiment involved gaining a bunch of baby weight... yes it happens to fathers, too. Some kind molecular physiology, you cant argue with nature. So getting in the swing of things this season had quite the learning curve. But have no fear,  the Tents returned cancer free and in TIP TOP shape. (Only a few cubic yards of throw up have been found on the bench thus far.)

New additions:

Mike. Thats it. Mike. Dont know his last name. Quiet folk he is. But man is he good. Maybe Todd should ask him about his training. He's got the wind. He's got the moves. He's got the shot. And he has no problem getting into tussles.

Jack Doyle: Speaking of Nitwits, Mason's management put Jack Doyle on waivers and the Tents were quick to claim him. Solid Team Guy. Gets the Job Done. Until Tom Salah figures out his life, which could be tomorrow or in 2020, Jack Doyle will be a regular fixture in the starting line up. 

Lets go over the results so far:

Game One: Tents Win, Kings Lose.
Game Two: Tents Win, Gulls Lose.
Game Three: Tents Win, Elks Lose.
Game Four: Masons Game Postponed until TBA because of that GOSH DARN TOM BRADY
Game Five: Tents Win, Mugs Lose. By 6.
Game Six: Tents Win, Kings Lose.
Game Seven: The Tents and Gulls kiss their sisters. Stupid Ties.

If you know how to count, that means the Tents are 5-0-1-0. Leading the league with 11 points and have 1 game in hand on a couple contenders. Goaltending has been Dynamite. Defense has been Dynamite. Offense has been Dynamite. A+ for the Tents. Im qualified to give B's, C's, D's and F's to the rest. I'm not in the business of offending anyone so I'm not gonna assign grades to each team. But if you and your teammates are honest with yourselves, and are realistic human beings, you know exactly what grade you deserve. But being a realistic human can be tough, for some of you.

Norman Macfarland needs a left handed stick. He must be waiting for the League to reimburse teams for equipment breakage. The league kindly gave the middle finger.

Quote of the season to date "You're Drunk. Go Home."

Also, If I stick check the puck off your stick, and I celebrate it. Don't be offended. I'm proud of myself. Dont get stick checked next time.

Until next time.... Fuck Donald Trump (And to a lesser degree, The Republican Party) and Fuck Guns.

Namaste.

P.S. Head butting is frowned upon.