FACT: Copious amounts of Marijuana makes you unhealthy, tired, and lazy.
Let me tell you a little story. It has been 21 days of long, arduous hours of dedicated research (subconscious as it were) and just today while on the treadmill (walking/running I was still on the mother fucker) I made this scientific breakthrough. Now you might be saying, "Todd you relapsed this past weekend!" (blame the margarita for those 4 puffs) and I would say "Why yes I did, and I'm glad!"
It has become apparent to me, in these past 3 weeks, that I have too much energy and I cannot be lazy without going crazy. I am actually going to the gym without Mama Brunson (my mother) nagging me. 1-0 Todd. I am staying on the treadmill for 1+ hours per workout. 2-0 Todd. And I am finally coming to realize that a blunt a day makes my fat rolls stay. Game. Set. Match.
This is a test of my brains. After this week you can either call me an asshole or clairvoyant. Picks vs. the spread and outright winners. (Outright Winner/ Spread Winner/ Both) DateFavorite Underdog
(Note: Credit for the original Idea will go to the Felger and Mazz Radio Program on 98.5....Sorry Pinkham) For Your Listening Pleasure
Sieve if you are reading this please don't hate me.
I was listening to the aforementioned radio program and, I have to say, they were completely right. The Red Sox were losing last night in the eighth inning and had just blown a lead, but as if the game did not matter, the "Fenway Faithful" sang Sweet Caroline like the Red Sox were winning. What ever happened to the days of being pissed when your team loses. I go to Professional Sports games to see these teams win. If they are losing, I am not having a good time. Fuck the Experience. Im not paying top dollar in the league for a good fan experience. I am paying top dollar to see this 180 million dollar payroll win games. The Death of Red Sox nation is personified in the "Ask a Pinkhat" segment of the Toucher and Rich radio program. People who don't know their ass from their elbow when it comes to baseball but they sure as hell can sing the shit out of Sweet Caroline. What ever happened to the days of hating to love this team. What happened to living and dying with every moment. Pink Hats happened. I have attended multiple Red Sox games every single season since I knew how to throw a baseball. How many games have I gone to this year? Zero, Zilch, Zip, NADA. Unless a set of free tickets come my way, I wont be visiting the Friendly Confines this season. This may seem to be blasphemy personified, but how far from the truth is it? Don't get me wrong, I still love the Red Sox. But the sideshow has begun to take its toll. You wont see me singing Sweet Caroline at Fenway unless I am with a hot girl and singing that song would increase my luck.
October 6th......for the past 3 months was the day that I was most looking forward too in my retarded, potentially obnoxious, over-zealous Boston Bruins Fan hood. Today, I feel like the child that got coal in his stocking for Christmas. I feel like a Vancouver Canucks fan circa June 15th at or around 10 pm. I feel like my Black and Gold Heart has been ripped out of my chest. Why? You ask. Today, the first day of my 7 pm, 3 hour marketing class at NSCC (which I had planned on skipping for banner night), we were assigned projects and our presentation due dates were assigned. What day did I not want to receive as my presentation date? October 6. What day do I have to present my case study? October 6th. The one day that I would watch the most important championship banner being raised to the Garden rafters for all eternity, I have to be in class. My life (temporarily) is ruined. Hopefully I don't lose points for having eyes as red as the devils dick because self medication is, and will be, the only remedy for this disastrous turn of events.
The Timeless question. Who is your Favorite Bruin? You think this would be an easy question to answer. You would be wrong. Since the departure of Centre Marc Savard from the active roster, I have been left with no choice but to test the market for a new Bruins sweater. But I have a serious problem, It is brutally hard for myself to come up with a solid top-5 list of my favorite Bruins without leaving someone,errr maybe the rest of the team out. In no particular order (because it is already hard enough to choose 5) Here goes nothing.
Andrew Ference
Can you say baller? Not only does this guy score 4 big goals from the blue line in this postseason, notably this goal against Montreal when the team was on the ropes in the first round, but he has the balls to do what every Bruins fan would love to do. Flip off the Canadiens faithful on National TV. You know you have done something brilliant when a shirt is made in your honor. In watching the Stanley Cup Championship DVD, there were a few instances where Mr. Ference had no problem calling out those euro trash Canucks (Sedin Sisters and Lapierre) for their less than honorable style of play. This guy can play on my Industrial League team any time he wants to.
Dennis Sidenberg
This guy may not have lit the lamp more than once this postseason....but make no mistake, Dennis Sidenberg is one of the reasons why this Bruins defense was so dominant. The guy just does not stop. He was second to only Zdeno Chara on the team for average time on ice by only 1 second. Physical Specimen. It is every defenseman's dream to play at the level the German Missile did. Tony Massarotti loves this guy so much that, if he were a woman, he would bear Sides' unborn child. Defensive prowess infront of the net, poise with the puck, and the ability to play the body....makes me wet just thinking about it. No Homo, of course.
Patrice Bergeron
The EPITOME of style and grace. The assistant captain scored the GWG of Game 7 in the Cup Finals (while adding a second in the 2nd period)....tent de pantelone. Amassing 20 points in 23 games with a +15 rating, all the while he suffered the 3rd concussion of his career vs. Philly (sidenote... we crushed Philly). If you aint got respect for the 26 year old from Ancienne-Lorette, Quebec, you are no fan of mine. Scoring big goals at THE biggest times for this team all season. This guy is a true leader and I love him.
Zdeno Chara
They say Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer...I'm sorry to disappoint you Chuck, but Big Z's tears give eternal life....too bad he never cries. Warrior. Barbarian. You name it, the Bruins Captain will one up it. The tallest player to ever play the game, amid a "Criminal Investigation" led his team to the Stanley Cup. His beard makes my beard look like a prepubecent growth of peach fuzz. Remember throughout this past season everyone questioned his leadership and abilities? That prompted the whole Fuck You Todd idea. My very first post (primitive as it was) Zdeno Chara vs. "The Cone" came to the defense of our fearless leader. Well I have no problem saying I told you so. He led the team in +/- with 16 and ATOI with 27:39 in the post season. I will follow this man into battle any day of the week. Fuck the haters and Fuck the Montreal Police.
Tim Thomas
Vezina Trophy Winner. Conn Smythe Trophy Winner. Stanley Cup Champion. There is nothing else that needs to be said. Well maybe "TIM THOMAS IS YOUR DADDY!"
Well, after compiling my top 5, I wish I could have done a top ten, but that defeats the purpose. I am no closer to choosing a candidate for my new sweater, as all five are worthy candidates. I just cant wait for October 6th. 30 days from now our Bruins will begin their quest to defend the greatest trophy in sports (not even a debate) and I get to resume an activity that I will have given up for over a month.
P.S. My Sincerest apologies to Milan Lucic, Brad Marchand, Rich Peverly, Mark Recchi, Nathan Horton and David Krejci. You all are still ballers in my book.
Well, It has been over 3 months since I last made a post on here, and with the proposal from Coon, I think it is time to get Fuck You Todd back up and running. Here are a few things that have happened since I last checked in.
If you haven't looked at my facebook wall since June 15th, you will be surprised to know that The Boston Bruins are Defending Stanley Cup Champions, 2 thrilling months of heart stopping action that ultimately culminated in us being severely fucked up in the streets of Boston for the Stanley Cup Parade. Did I mention how fucked up we were?
Summer came and went. The Mothership connected well over 30 times as Enos Marine had to deal with our cast of characters time in and time out. Water Tubes off Niles, Cruises down the River Jamming to Northshore 104.9 and one dislocated shoulder later, I'd say we got our monies worth. I will also mention that we were probably not sober there either.
Erica, Fonzie and DJ Lopic didn't help in our quest for sobriety (not that we were looking for it) as they threw two sweet ass booze cruises on the extra clean waters of Gloucester Harbor. A fat man gave us the goat, I think every male peed off the side or back of the boat and I think Dave is still looking for some of his belongings. AA couldn't help us after those two nights.
Thousand Acres Family Campground is rethinking (again) their affiliation with us. Drinking at 8 am is always acceptable, unless we didn't get that memo.
On more than one occasion....2 rolling rock kegs did not wet our appetite. (Thank You to the McCarthy and Larocca families for their Hospitality.)
It is now time for fall, and a few of us are still going to school (whether your working on your masters or bachelors, or associates....) It was a good summer that was. GHB, Wingaersheek, The Mothership,Those AA friendly booze cruises, and Double/Triple keggers will be back on the horizon before you know it. Although rumor has it Cooney Palooza is still a belated summer possibility.
Cheers to hangovers, empty wallets and low account balances. Go Sox, Go Bruins and Go Giants.
